Wednesday, February 29

The Thumb Rule!

"Why do one have to always hurt the ones you love? And consciously so?" She asked.

I never had answer for that. You know why!

The woods were dark and must be cold. I could see fact and fiction blended in her eyes!  The silence, skipping the painful phrases. I am used to it now, I think. I preferred to think that I didn't see, I didn't hear.

The bizarre mind.. I believe now it is pretty usual, is int it? I don’t feel like not to. I am lost and you are loosing me. She is not getting words. So? What is it for me? Better avoid it..!

She should understand I am already lost in never forgetting dreams and ever remembering days. Now expecting the worst and hoping the best, hope.. ya still hoping. ?? 

No, seriously.

Terrified by the forbidden dreams, I may loose the sanctification. Thy thoughts sanctified my dreams, thy dreams sanctified my solitude. Let me complete the palpitation. Let me close this chapter. I cannot withstand it any more, I cannot withstand you…rather say your dreams. I have the painful dreams of this joyful solitude…. What else to dream, to remember, to forget?

Somebody please tell her this thumb rule. Things will change. They always do. And learning to let go has been the lesson always....!! 

Friday, February 24

"You are so cruel"

Isn't it ironic that the only person who can make you happy is the same person who makes you sad & lonely? The fact is sometimes, by holding on too tight, you end up losing what you were trying so hard to save. Soap, for example. There comes a time when u have to stop remembering your past and move on. No regrets in life, just lessons. Don't expect too much. It's always better to feel surprised than to feel disappointed. 

Oh dear, why a monologue again? Cheesy. The myriad of confusion to the society? 

The congeries of emotional licking. Its not about what happened, its all about why happened. What is so obvious, but not why. People are not satisfied by the creamy layer, they edaciously dig for the mud and rust. Everyone has their own reasons. As some one said, your right may not be mine or vis versa. Alas, I understand, people are made to be loved, things are made to be used, the confusion in this world is that people are being used, things are being loved.

My sublime arguments ends here. I don’t deserve it anymore.. I don't belong to it anymore. I am cursing myself. Each time a heart broke, I reminded myself.. you will get a reward for this.. soon. Don’t know where this will end. Go away from me, I the one who hurts. Before you feel the pain, before you feel empty, before you feel that you got used, go away from this painful melancholy or you will get absorbed to it. Let me fall back to my no one get hurt.. just me. My mind filled with dark clouds, spitting thunders every now and then. Yes it hurts. Lot. The more you try to console, the more it kindle the wounds. I am sorry, it was not intentional. hahaha… what an excuse.

I just wrote everything, everything around me, about me..truthfully. I may loose myself in it, may forget what I wished to be mine.. Like the many a thing which I already forgot. But again one thing I clearly remember, she used those long pauses in her conversations. Like in those long distance telephone calls. I know I will forget this also one day! And now I will borrow her ever favorite line, with a smile once she told me contentedly,  "You are so cruel". Yes, She was kidding. No.