A pain unknown!!

I am becoming lazy. Lazy for everything. I am having a pretty bad feeling at heart. Dont know abt what. It is the same feeling I had or which I expressed here before. Something that is pulling my heart or myself inside. I know I am happy I know I am fine, I know I know, but I dont know what is this. What my mind want to feel, to know, to see. I didnt find the solitude I searched. May be I never will. It is a misconception, a dream, a feeling. Even though I know all these things, I still feel there is something which I fear or I love to fall in. I dont have anything to blame or anyone to blame for this. I cannot even blame me because there is no point or need for me to think or force my mind towards that. This is creating a big void in my mind. I dont find a way to express this. Blame it on my mind. We are becoming two......